Kurt Hummel's Guide to Having a Brother
by warblingaway
Summary: To My Loving Brother, Finn Hudson. Love, Kurt Hummel, with help from Blaine Anderson. Klaine. Furt. COMPLETE


**No, this is not the super long oneshot you're all waiting anxiously for. Right now it stands at around 9000 words and i'm not sure how much longer it's going tobe. It's kind of just writing itself.**

**Anyway, this idea came to me while telling my sister not to slurp her soup so loud, causing her to slurp louder 0_0**

**Enjoyyy :)**

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><p>Kurt Hummel's Guide to Having a Brother<p>

To: My Loving Brother, Finn Hudson

Love: Kurt Hummel

With Help from: Blaine Anderson

1. Do Not Touch Your Brother's Stuff

I know it may seem tempting, seeing as how all of my stuff is exquisite, but _it is not yours. _Keep your dirty little hands to your own things and there won't be any problems.

In the past, I've noticed that this causes the most issues among us. So, therefore, if you were to just keep your crummy little paws away from my material goods, most issues will be resolved.

2. When Your Brother is Alone with his Boyfriend, LEAVE THEM BE

The number of times you have walked in on me and Blaine doing – err – _things _is countless. And Blaine agrees with me on this.

So, if the bedroom door is closed and you hear those 'strange noises of concern' coming from within, just keep on walking. Nothing bad is happing, we can guarantee that.

And then, after you walk in on us, it's always deemed _our _fault. Yet you're the one who interrupted us.

3. Brother and Boyfriend won't Tell You about Personal Life as Long as You Don't Tell Yours

Truer words have never been spoken. But seriously, we can _only _handle so much gush and mush about Rachel. We'd still like to be able to look at her with a sense of innocence of our eyes.

I don't butt into your personal life and relationships, as long as you stay out of mine.

4. Don't Eat All the Food

Contrary to popular belief, I am a growing teenage boy too. Meaning that I too need to eat.

So when you eat all of the food, it makes my eating of it kind of difficult.

And when I'm cooking, don't eat it all before it's all done. When you do that, I have to go back and make more of what you ate, creating a very unhappy brother. If you know anything about me, it'll be that I'm not very pleasant when I'm unhappy.

5. Our Parents are Important. Don't Leave It All Up to Me

Father's Day, Mother's Day, birthdays, their anniversary – we should plan _together. _You shouldn't leave the whole thing in my hands. They're both of our parents, so we should make their day special together.

6. Just Accept Blaine

Look, I understand that you've got some beef to pick with Blaine or whatever, but that needs to stop. He's in it for the long run, so you better start treating him like family. I love him, so you should love him too.

And don't play the overprotective older brother card. One because I'm older than you, and two because I will not be amused by it.

Before you ask, no, Blaine isn't pressuring me into anything. He's the perfect gentleman. So there's no need for you to threaten him or anything.

7. Clean Your Room

Seriously, I can smell it from mine. And whenever someone walks by it, you can see them pinching their noses.

Save _everyone _and tidy up on a daily basis.

8. Don't Hog the Bathroom

You've seen my hair, Finn. You know that perfection takes time. So it's hard to achieve said perfection when you're in the bathroom, doing who knows what, for forty-five minutes. I have a boyfriend to look good for, Finn, and –

**It's Blaine. Sorry to interrupt, but if you could just stay in longer so he doesn't have time to do his hair, that would be great. I happen to really like his bedhead and –**

Don't listen to Blaine. Use your time in the bathroom wisely.

**He's blushing furiously.**

9. If I Tell You One of Your Habits Bugs Me, Don't Keep Doing It in a More Annoying Manner

Like if I tell you to stop slurping, don't do it louder. It's just not good etiquette, and it happens to really annoy me.

If you complain about me know being a good brother, this will be my first go to response as to why it's not _me, _but you.

So if you don't want me to have a comeback, just don't do these annoying things.

10. Love

Last one.

This isn't really a guideline, more like a given. We're brothers, meaning that we're kind of obliged to love each other.

But not only each other, but everyone in our lives too. *cough cough Blaine*

We love our parents. We love our friends. We love each other.

We need to stick by each other. We have some kind of brother alliance bond thing now. This includes cover ups when needed, helping the other out, and just hanging out together.

And my one final tip is for both of us. We need to end every fight we have with the words "I love you."

We're not going to be the kinds of siblings that are constantly squabbling. Mainly because it'll give me frown lines.

So, Finn Hudson, I hope this helps with your adaption into brotherhood. I know it's been over a year already, but I feel like this was coming for a long while.

Love, your brother,

Kurt Hummel **and his boyfriend, Blaine Anderson**

P.S. I'm sorry about Blaine's interruptions. He just likes to be included. He's kind of like a puppy that way.

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><p><strong>Yes, I had to throw a little of my OTP in there, but I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH OKAY?<strong>

**alkjlkasjdf**

**And Furt. I miss the days of Furt. And when Blaine and Finn would get along.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee**

**Review Please :) Reveiws keep me writing the wonderfulness of Klaine and the Hudmels and alskfjlsjdf :D**


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